God is in control

While on my way home from dropping Ron off at work (6am), I was stuck in traffic. I was getting melancholy because of our financial situation. Being a few months late with our mortgage has me just a little "uptight". I pray and pray that God would find me another part time job or a full time job that pays well. Doing my part, I send out resumes. I need to follow up on where I send these resumes, though. I just expect God to have the recipient of the resume like what they see and call me. SILLY ME!!!! Times have changed and I forget about that.

In the mean time, Ron's car breaks down (thank goodness at home) and so we are down to one car. Driving Ron to work, son and grandchild to school then go to work. It sounds so petty right now as I write this. Poor old Sandy. She has to get up extra early and do some driving. Well, I am not a morning person at all!!

So, back to driving in traffic. I was having a conversation with God about money woes (I am sure that He is tired of hearing about it). I tend to obsess about things. I am trying to listen to God, hear His voice. Above my "whining" I hear God speak (now, do not think I am crazy, too.). "Sandy, I want you to read in Psalm this morning" "Where?" I ask. "Read Psalm 139."

So, I finally get home (30 min. later from Brentwood to Pittsburg!!!Yck!) get my Bible and proceed to read Psalm 139. I am reading out of my Parallel Bible that has the message in it. Most of the time I do not read the message, but for some reason I did today (nothing wrong with the translation, just not my favorite). Anyway, in verses 15-16 it states (MSG) Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, the days of my life all prepared before I''d even lived one day.

Hmmmmm......

So, God. You are telling me that you have known me and ALL the circumstances that I am going thru, what I have already gone thru, and what I will go thru in the future.

Now, you have to understand. I have been a follower of Jesus since I was 9 years old. It has not been easy. More on that later. But, because of my personality, I stress......A LOT. I have gotten better. Ron's nick name for me is "worry wort". I asked him one time why he does not worry. His response, "Why, I have you to do all the worrying". GREAT!!!!

While I was pondering what I had read, I was flipping thru Psalms. I was browsing thru chapter 119 -because I really have not read all of this Psalm. I really liked verses 73-80. In verse 76-77 it reads "O may Your lovingkindness comfort me. According to Your work to Your servant. May Your compassion come to me that I may live. For Your law is my delight." Then vs 80 "May my heart be blameless in Your statues. So that I will not be ashamed." The Message reads, "And let me live whole and holy, soul and body so I can always walk with my head held high." I like that.

All this reading and pondering, thinking about God, listening to the voice of God in my heart, God is letting me know that He is in CONTROL of all. He has seen the beginning and the end of my life. He has compassion on me (even though I obsess about stuff). HE LOVES ME!!!!!!! My comfort is reading His Word.

"Lord, let me remember to always know that You are in control when I think things are out of control and beyond help. You know my heart, you know my anxious thoughts. Help me to dwell in Your thoughts and not mine. Thank you for Your encouraging words thru Your servant King David."